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World Toilet Day is November 19!

11 Nov

Have you hugged your toilet today?Every day I use a toilet.  How about you?  Every once in awhile some unforeseen act of God wreaks havoc with my routine and I need to hide behind a tree. But those incidents become fodder for the blog or the book.  They’re exceptions to the rule.  Most of the time my deposits are left in a toilet.  And I take that for granted.

This Saturday is World Toilet Day.  That’s right.  It’s a real thing.  You can Google it, and when you do, you’ll find the World Toilet Organization is behind the event.  In 2001, the World Toilet Organization declared November 19 a day to bring awareness to the global sanitation crisis.  Over 2.6 BILLION people don’t have access to proper sanitation.  That is a lot of shit.

Flush This Book is partnering with the World Toilet Organization to help their efforts to implement sanitation in developing countries.  It’s about dignity, and it’s about health.    Each year, nearly two million children under the age of five die from diarrheal diseases.  This is unacceptable.  A clean toilet.  A clean place to wash up after using a toilet.  In the 21st century, this isn’t too much to ask.

In honor of World Toilet Day, we’ve released an ebook edition of Flush This Book for only 99 cents.  A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the World Toilet Organization.  One of the great things that the WTO does is to provide quality toilets at very low costs to local vendors they help train in developing countries. They stimulate local economies in impoverished areas, provide low-cost toilet systems that are environmentally sound and raise the quality of life in areas that would otherwise be overrun by disease.  Please help us help them.

Officially stepping off the soapbox now. Debbie Downer has left the building.

For additional comic relief buy the ebook, enjoy the laughs and feel good about donating to a great cause.

For more information about the World Toilet Organization and what you can do to celebrate World Toilet Day click here: http://www.worldtoilet.org/WTD/toolkit_15.html

Buy the book now and help the WTO here:

Buy Flush This Book now at Amazon and Barnes and Noble!

http://www.amazon.com/Flush-This-Book-Malfunctions-ebook/dp/B0066VF7IC/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1321631098&sr=1-1

Dear Car Seat Victim – Poop Pranks

6 Dec
Buy Flush This Book now for only 99 cents!

Bet you wish we'd been into Post-it notes and not poop, huh?

I would like to apologize for putting a pile of human shit on your front seat in 1994. I really don’t know what else to say except that it seemed like a good idea at the time. Like most boys in their late teens, I fell victim to groupthink, and my group was just into that kind of prank. In our defense, there was a lot of pot involved in the strategy sessions we conducted during our munchie-induced pigouts.

Twenty-four hours before we dropped our nasty payload on your unsuspecting upholstery, we were passing a doobie and discussing the wonders of the human body. How does corn become reconstituted in your poo after you’ve chewed it thoroughly? Why does spinach snake through your dookie like lost caterpillars? If asparagus makes your pee reek, what will it do to your doo-doo? Does grape Kool-Aid really turn your turds the shade of nuclear waste? You know, deep philosophical stuff. While we pondered these questions, our pack leader, we called him “The General,” leapt to his feet excitedly.

“Dude, we should totally try these theories out. We’ll all eat now and try to synchronize our movements, and then we’ll share the data. We’ll have to do this at Frank’s house; he has the most toilets.”

But another soldier among us piped up and suggested it would be better, and funnier, to take turns crapping in a paper bag and then dump the contents on somebody else’s driver’s seat. I am not proud to say that soldier was me, but in the whirlwind of the moment, it felt as if I were contributing to science and comedy. It was a double whammy of historic proportions.

We accomplished our task, as you well know, and the results were astounding. Corn, no matter if ground to a pulp between teeth or popped whole like precious yellow pills, will riddle your log with rows of plump kernels that could pass for a half-eaten cob. Spinach will not always snake; it will sometimes clump in swampy masses that cling to the outside of a poop slug. Asparagus will evoke the pungent aroma of beached animals rotting in the sun. And yes, grape Kool-Aid will turn a turd a shade of sickly neon green.

Like mad scientists, we collected our specimens and assembled them into a quadruple threat whose stench rivaled even the most fetid of malfunctioning sewage pumps. A stench we bequeathed to you.

For the record, it’s not as if we singled you out for any personal reason. Quite frankly, your car door was the only one unlocked in its driveway that evening when we executed our plan. Had you locked your door, some other poor sap would have had to deal with our ‘gift.’ When I was a stupid kid, I didn’t think about the consequences of my actions. But now, as a more mature adult, I can imagine the aftermath of that morning’s commute….

To find out what this poor schmuck endured that morning, read the rest of “Dear Car Seat Victim” in our ebook.  Found here on Amazon for kindle, here for the nook at Barnes and Noble or just type in “Flush This Book” at Apple’s iBookstore.  If you don’t have an ereader follow this link to get the ebook for your PC.

Want more poop pranks?  We found some for you.  Enjoy!

Readers of this website write in with poop prank confessions.

Favorite funny poop moments from the movies.

 

 

 

World Toilet Day

18 Nov

Have you hugged your toilet today?Every day I use a toilet.  How about you?  Every once in awhile some unforeseen act of God wreaks havoc with my routine and I need to hide behind a tree. But those incidents become fodder for the blog or the book.  They’re exceptions to the rule.  Most of the time my deposits are left in a toilet.  And I take that for granted.

This Saturday is World Toilet Day.  That’s right.  It’s a real thing.  You can Google it, and when you do, you’ll find the World Toilet Organization is behind the event.  In 2001, the World Toilet Organization declared November 19 a day to bring awareness to the global sanitation crisis.  Over 2.6 BILLION people don’t have access to proper sanitation.  That is a lot of shit.

Flush This Book is partnering with the World Toilet Organization to help their efforts to implement sanitation in developing countries.  It’s about dignity, and it’s about health.    Each year, nearly two million children under the age of five die from diarrheal diseases.  This is unacceptable.  A clean toilet.  A clean place to wash up after using a toilet.  In the 21st century, this isn’t too much to ask.

In honor of World Toilet Day, we’ve released an ebook edition of Flush This Book for only 99 cents.  A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the World Toilet Organization.  One of the great things that the WTO does is to provide quality toilets at very low costs to local vendors they help train in developing countries. They stimulate local economies in impoverished areas, provide low-cost toilet systems that are environmentally sound and raise the quality of life in areas that would otherwise be overrun by disease.  Please help us help them.

Officially stepping off the soapbox now. Debbie Downer has left the building.

For additional comic relief buy the ebook, enjoy the laughs and feel good about donating to a great cause.

For more information about the World Toilet Organization and what you can do to celebrate World Toilet Day click here: http://www.worldtoilet.org/WTD/toolkit_15.html

Buy the book now and help the WTO here:

Buy Flush This Book now at Amazon and Barnes and Noble!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.amazon.com/Flush-This-Book-Malfunctions-ebook/dp/B0066VF7IC/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1321631098&sr=1-1

 

Buy Flush This Book For Only 99 Cents!

17 Nov

Flush This Book: True Tales of Bodily Malfunctions now on sale!Fans of the Flush This Book project! We have put together a small ebook that’s now available through Amazon and Apple iBookstore for only 99 cents!

The best part of this ebook is why we’re putting it out there. We’re partnering with an international non-profit called the World Toilet Organization that implements sanitation systems in developing countries to prevent the spread of deadly diseases.

A portion of the proceeds from the ebook, and all our future editions of Flush This Book, will go to this worthwhile cause. This Saturday, November 19, is World Toilet Day, a day to give thought to the global sanitation crisis. No, we didn’t make it up- it’s a real thing. Google it. Every year more than 2 million children under the age of 5 will die from diseases they contracted due to poor sanitation. The World Toilet Organization is on a mission to bring that number down.

Please help us help them. It’s only 99 cents. And if you’d leave a review on Amazon we’ll love you forever!  Also, in just a matter of days, the ebook will be available on Barnes and Noble for those with the Nook.

Buy Flush This Book on Amazon

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