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World Toilet Day is November 19!

11 Nov

Have you hugged your toilet today?Every day I use a toilet.  How about you?  Every once in awhile some unforeseen act of God wreaks havoc with my routine and I need to hide behind a tree. But those incidents become fodder for the blog or the book.  They’re exceptions to the rule.  Most of the time my deposits are left in a toilet.  And I take that for granted.

This Saturday is World Toilet Day.  That’s right.  It’s a real thing.  You can Google it, and when you do, you’ll find the World Toilet Organization is behind the event.  In 2001, the World Toilet Organization declared November 19 a day to bring awareness to the global sanitation crisis.  Over 2.6 BILLION people don’t have access to proper sanitation.  That is a lot of shit.

Flush This Book is partnering with the World Toilet Organization to help their efforts to implement sanitation in developing countries.  It’s about dignity, and it’s about health.    Each year, nearly two million children under the age of five die from diarrheal diseases.  This is unacceptable.  A clean toilet.  A clean place to wash up after using a toilet.  In the 21st century, this isn’t too much to ask.

In honor of World Toilet Day, we’ve released an ebook edition of Flush This Book for only 99 cents.  A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the World Toilet Organization.  One of the great things that the WTO does is to provide quality toilets at very low costs to local vendors they help train in developing countries. They stimulate local economies in impoverished areas, provide low-cost toilet systems that are environmentally sound and raise the quality of life in areas that would otherwise be overrun by disease.  Please help us help them.

Officially stepping off the soapbox now. Debbie Downer has left the building.

For additional comic relief buy the ebook, enjoy the laughs and feel good about donating to a great cause.

For more information about the World Toilet Organization and what you can do to celebrate World Toilet Day click here: http://www.worldtoilet.org/WTD/toolkit_15.html

Buy the book now and help the WTO here:

Buy Flush This Book now at Amazon and Barnes and Noble!

http://www.amazon.com/Flush-This-Book-Malfunctions-ebook/dp/B0066VF7IC/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1321631098&sr=1-1

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Guest Blog Post: Capt Cliff on IBS and World Toilet Day

27 Dec

Cliff Mazer, Ph.D. is a Clinical Psychologist in Private Practice in Sandy Springs  Georgia. He specializes in sex therapy and eating disorders. He resides in Atlanta, Georgia and has a thing for Pirates and really nice bathrooms. He was diagnosed with IBS this year.

During the day I’m supposed to be a licensed Psychologist and role model of rationality and emotional stability. At night however I revert to my alter ego as a Jewish Pirate and IBS sufferer. I also have a thing for toilets. Toilets and World Toilet Day, which was celebrated last month are subjects near and dear to my heart.

The campaign is oriented to promoting the fact that there is a pressing need (no pun intended) for toilets and better sanitation around the globe. Matt Damon has publicly addressed the tissue, er issue, by reminding us that there are more people on Earth who own cell phones than people with functioning toilets.

Ever since visiting the polished copper lavatories at the Madonna Inn in San Louis Obispo, California as a child, I have been fascinated by toilets and become somewhat of a connoisseur of bathrooms that combine the blessed trinity of form, function, and excellent ventilation. How irritating is it to visit a good friend at their nice house, stay at a swanky hotel in Las Vegas, or eat at a fantastic upscale restaurant in New York City or San Francisco (right off the dining room), only to find that they lack a simple bathroom fan that would provide adequate noise cancelling effects as well as sufficient air flow/ventilation? Awkward much?

I dont mean to talk shit but let’s face it, this is a part of being human that makes us all equal, no matter how much money we have, how fancy and expensive a car we drive, or how good-looking we might be. No matter how big or small our butt is, we all have to park our rear ends on the porcelain throne and do our business. The only difference is that Donald Trump’s throne is gold plated. I still, however, think he’s a big asshole, and that his shit DOES stink.

I admit that I may come by my obsession for toiletry by virtue of my Ashkenazi German Jewish heritage. Consider how many Yiddish words there are for poop……..too many to mention here, in fact. Let’s just say that snow is to the Eskimo as “drek” is to the average anal Jewish person with my family background.

Dont believe me? Look up the names of GI doctors and licensed Proctologists in the phone book and count how many Dr. Goldsteins and Dr. Schwartz’s there are. We specialize in Nobel prizes, entertainment, medicine, and…..shit.

Even in non academic circles and sans professional accreditation my people have shown an unusual interest in all things related to bowel function. Passing gas and engaging in “productive” BM’s are considered, along with music, food, culture and literature to be important avocations of the truly civilized.

In contrast, constipation, irregularity and the absence of stool is seen as a sign of weakness, infirmity and pity. “Oy, I havent gone in 3 days!” was perceived in my youth, not just as a simple complaint, but as a full fledged lament and solemn prayer for absolution. Such an utterance evoked not only tremendous empathy from others, but also the ultimate Kinnahora (the evil eye/spirit that was so feared it engendered an immediate superstitious behavior like spitting or throwing salt over the shoulder to ward off doom or in this case catching a bad case of constipation).

For those of you guys (goys) who cant grasp what I am saying, consider what is worse, chronic constipation or unremitting insomnia, day after day, week after week? To the Jew, both suck big time, but most of us would prefer to stay up all nite watching old reruns of the Honeymooners and the original Twilight Zone then spend a whole day with a full roll of Charmin and nothing to show for it.

Lastly, I just returned from Boca, visiting my cousin Donna at her “pied de terre” at Century Village, also known as “Cemetery Village” to the locals who are used to the nightly sirens and fire trucks cruising into the complex searching for the latest casualty to old age and old school delicatessen food (Ben’s Deli was excellent). Not only were the bathrooms in the clubhouse meticulous and the toilets so powerful that I nearly felt my hind end sucked into the vortex by the industrial turbines they use for waste disposal, but the elderly residents conversations were rife with references to all things bladder and bowel.

On the last day I was fortunate to visit the nearby Morikami Japanese Garden and Museum.  After touring the exquisite gardens we entered the original Yamato house now turned into an art center and architectural display of Japanese culture. While most of the others pondered the superbly tended bonsai trees, the colorful food court, and the intricate Samurai drawings and sculpture, I however, was mesmerized by the 2011 Japanese Toto high tech toilet demonstration.

Not only does that baby wash, dry and sanitize your tush, but it plays music, has temperature controls more sensitive then my Lexus, and can respond to multiple language voice commands. As far as I’m concerned that trumps Trumps sleazy gilded bath fixtures any day. More on this subject later. Right now I gotta go…..so to speak. CaptCliff has IBS. Arrgh!

World Toilet Day

18 Nov

Have you hugged your toilet today?Every day I use a toilet.  How about you?  Every once in awhile some unforeseen act of God wreaks havoc with my routine and I need to hide behind a tree. But those incidents become fodder for the blog or the book.  They’re exceptions to the rule.  Most of the time my deposits are left in a toilet.  And I take that for granted.

This Saturday is World Toilet Day.  That’s right.  It’s a real thing.  You can Google it, and when you do, you’ll find the World Toilet Organization is behind the event.  In 2001, the World Toilet Organization declared November 19 a day to bring awareness to the global sanitation crisis.  Over 2.6 BILLION people don’t have access to proper sanitation.  That is a lot of shit.

Flush This Book is partnering with the World Toilet Organization to help their efforts to implement sanitation in developing countries.  It’s about dignity, and it’s about health.    Each year, nearly two million children under the age of five die from diarrheal diseases.  This is unacceptable.  A clean toilet.  A clean place to wash up after using a toilet.  In the 21st century, this isn’t too much to ask.

In honor of World Toilet Day, we’ve released an ebook edition of Flush This Book for only 99 cents.  A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the World Toilet Organization.  One of the great things that the WTO does is to provide quality toilets at very low costs to local vendors they help train in developing countries. They stimulate local economies in impoverished areas, provide low-cost toilet systems that are environmentally sound and raise the quality of life in areas that would otherwise be overrun by disease.  Please help us help them.

Officially stepping off the soapbox now. Debbie Downer has left the building.

For additional comic relief buy the ebook, enjoy the laughs and feel good about donating to a great cause.

For more information about the World Toilet Organization and what you can do to celebrate World Toilet Day click here: http://www.worldtoilet.org/WTD/toolkit_15.html

Buy the book now and help the WTO here:

Buy Flush This Book now at Amazon and Barnes and Noble!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.amazon.com/Flush-This-Book-Malfunctions-ebook/dp/B0066VF7IC/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1321631098&sr=1-1

 

Buy Flush This Book For Only 99 Cents!

17 Nov

Flush This Book: True Tales of Bodily Malfunctions now on sale!Fans of the Flush This Book project! We have put together a small ebook that’s now available through Amazon and Apple iBookstore for only 99 cents!

The best part of this ebook is why we’re putting it out there. We’re partnering with an international non-profit called the World Toilet Organization that implements sanitation systems in developing countries to prevent the spread of deadly diseases.

A portion of the proceeds from the ebook, and all our future editions of Flush This Book, will go to this worthwhile cause. This Saturday, November 19, is World Toilet Day, a day to give thought to the global sanitation crisis. No, we didn’t make it up- it’s a real thing. Google it. Every year more than 2 million children under the age of 5 will die from diseases they contracted due to poor sanitation. The World Toilet Organization is on a mission to bring that number down.

Please help us help them. It’s only 99 cents. And if you’d leave a review on Amazon we’ll love you forever!  Also, in just a matter of days, the ebook will be available on Barnes and Noble for those with the Nook.

Buy Flush This Book on Amazon

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