Tag Archives: world toilet organization

World Water Day is March 22!

21 Mar

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Thirsty?  Want a glass of water?  Go get one.  Easy, right?  Most of us can simply walk to the nearest tap and drink what comes out.  Over a BILLION people in the world can’t do that.  They have no access to clean drinking water—as a result, 4,500 children die EVERY DAY.  

In 1993 the United Nations declared March 22 “World Water Day,” a day to bring awareness to the global water crisis.  This year’s theme is “The World is Thirsty Because We Are Hungry.”  I thought this was an odd theme before doing some research.  I thought I would just write a blog entry about how we all need to take shorter showers and follow the “if it’s yellow let it mellow; if it’s brown flush it down” philosophy. 

As with most crises the world faces, the elephant in the room is population growth.  There are a lot of people on the planet and only a finite amount of resources.  So what can we do?  This year the UN isn’t merely asking Westerners to turn off the tap while brushing their teeth—that kind of behavior is helpful, but it’s literally only a drop in the bucket. 

Most of us have become aware of the term “Carbon Footprint” in the past few years.  What is more surprising is the “Water Footprint” modern life impresses on the environment.  The majority of global water consumption isn’t from downing gallons of drinking water.  Agriculture is the main drain on the world’s water supply—farming accounts for over 90% of the world’s water consumption.  But we all need to eat.  In fact, most of our water intake actually comes from the foods we eat.  So how can we help mitigate water shortages and still feed the world? 

“Sustainable” is the new buzzword in the world of all things “Green” these days, but there’s a good reason for that.  We can’t simply siphon off the world’s resources indefinitely and expect that this behavior will “sustain” life as we know it.  That’s insane.  The principles of “sustainability” are especially applicable to water consumption.  One of the best things you can do to save water is going to sound really weird.  It’s a little more radical than turning off the faucet when you brush.  Brace yourself. 

Eat less meat.

Don’t freak out.  I didn’t say eat none.  Just less.  To produce one pound of beef it takes between 2,500 to 5,000 gallons of water.  To produce one pound of wheat it only takes 25 gallons.  Yep.  Grains and vegetables demand MUCH less water.

But take heart.  This behavior will not only lessen your individual impact on the environment and save water specifically, it will also help you personally.  Your overall health will improve.  Modern medicine backs this up—I’m not just some hippie telling you to hug a cow.  Google “Meat consumption and cancer” and see the scary stuff that pops up from reputable sources.  Yikes!

So eat less meat.  Your prostate and colon will thank you.  And you’ll lessen your “Water Footprint.” 

Happy World Water Day!

For more information on World Water Day visit http://www.unwater.org/worldwaterday/

Are you now depressed about the world’s water crisis?  Need a laugh? Buy Flush This Book and not only will you laugh, but you’ll be donating to two great organizations that help improve sanitation and access to clean water world wide.  We will donate a portion of our proceeds to the World Toilet Organization and DefeatDD.

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Be Thankful for Thanksgiving

22 Nov

It's not Christmas yet, so celebrate Thanksgiving!When I went to Home Depot during the first week of October, I was startled by the forest of brightly lit Christmas trees.   I know that some people like to get a head-start on the shopping season, but I like to take my seasons one at a time.  Crunching Halloween and Christmas decorations into simultaneous shelf space and airtime has an alarming telescoping effect—it spawns a bottleneck of time-space into which the last three months of the year get sucked viciously, as if they were swirling into the depths of a black hole.

Too hyperbolic? Perhaps.  But seriously, it pisses me off that Santa keeps poking his fat ass in the Halloween aisle earlier and earlier every year! Besides the accelerating time-warp this preemptive attack creates, it makes me feel sorry for Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving gets crunched between Free Candy Day and Santa.  Let’s face it—it’s hard to compete against sugar highs and an orgy of presents.  It reminds me of trying to garner the attention of one of the seventeen-year-old boys in a high school English course I taught while he was busy staring at the thong peeking above his female classmate’s jeans.  Some games feel rigged.

Thanksgiving needs more clout to help it compete. Unfortunately, there’s nothing glitzy or sexy about being grateful.  Slutty pilgrim outfits and Thanksgiving Day Gifts smack of pathetic copycat attempts.  So let’s amp up the best thing Thanksgiving has going for it.  No, not football, not pre-Christmas sales.  I’m talking about AMAZING FOOD.

Everyone has his/her favorite Thanksgiving dishes cultivated by generations of family traditions and recipe tweaking, but most Americans will tell you that the staples on that table better include: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, some serious gravy and all manner of pies.  The sights and smells of these foods invoke euphoria before you even sit down to the table.  Allspice, nutmeg, rosemary, thyme, a roasting turkey, creamy potatoes saturated with real cream and butter.  The richness of the Thanksgiving meal is reason enough for celebration—heritage and gratitude are merely a bonus.

Thanksgiving is a gastrointestinal event, and as such, it follows that what goes in must come out.  As you know, that amuses the hell out of us.

Sweet potatoes are high in fiber, and they always seem to make their encore as a cylindrical version of the original dish.  The fiber is a good thing, because most of us will need some help passing the other accoutrements of the Turkey Day spread.  The turkey itself is rich in lean protein, but all the fixings pack on the fat.  The real reason you need a nap after gorging yourself isn’t the tryptophan; it’s all the excess fat that overloads your digestive system, slowing it down and making you feel like Aunt Edna sniped you with a tranquilizer dart while you were dumping whipped cream on your second slice of pumpkin pie.  Ah, pumpkin—another food whose encore looks so strikingly like the debut appearance.

So make some room Halloween, your sugar festival is nothing compared to November’s Fat Fest.  And Christmas Dinner?  You’re nothing but Thanksgiving Part II.  And everybody knows the sequel is never as good as the original.  Store-owners, take a breath and give everything its due time.  Let us enjoy our turkey without worrying about getting tinsel stuck between our teeth.  Give us time to relish in the afterglow with a slow and glorious Thanksgiving Day Crap.

Please, please with mashed potatoes and gravy on top, in the days to come, feel free to report your post-Thanksgiving movements with us via an ‘over-share’ in the comments sections on our blog.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

P.S.  If you really want to make Thanksgiving extra pooptacular, conside making this funny gag gift for your guests: Turkey Poop.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And don’t forget – we’re selling our first humor ebook, Flush This Book: True Tales of Bodily Malfunctions, everywhere you can find ebooks for only 99 cents and a portion of the proceeds goes to a wonderful nonprofit, the World Toilet Organization, a group that works towards better sanitation worldwide. Check them out here.

Find our book here:

Buy Flush This Book now!

Buy Flush This Book For Only 99 Cents!

17 Nov

Flush This Book: True Tales of Bodily Malfunctions now on sale!Fans of the Flush This Book project! We have put together a small ebook that’s now available through Amazon and Apple iBookstore for only 99 cents!

The best part of this ebook is why we’re putting it out there. We’re partnering with an international non-profit called the World Toilet Organization that implements sanitation systems in developing countries to prevent the spread of deadly diseases.

A portion of the proceeds from the ebook, and all our future editions of Flush This Book, will go to this worthwhile cause. This Saturday, November 19, is World Toilet Day, a day to give thought to the global sanitation crisis. No, we didn’t make it up- it’s a real thing. Google it. Every year more than 2 million children under the age of 5 will die from diseases they contracted due to poor sanitation. The World Toilet Organization is on a mission to bring that number down.

Please help us help them. It’s only 99 cents. And if you’d leave a review on Amazon we’ll love you forever!  Also, in just a matter of days, the ebook will be available on Barnes and Noble for those with the Nook.

Buy Flush This Book on Amazon

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